So.here I sit, yet again pissed off at my mother. I really have to stop wanting this relationship that just isn’t ever going to happen. Today was about a pro-life graphic she posted. She never posts shit like that. Of course, my cousin Theresa had to jump on board with the ‘child didn’t choose to be conceived’ thing. Now, had it been anyone else, I may have taken that argument into account, just a little, but she has absolutely no business towing that party line. She had quite the reputation in high school and one of my closest friends lost his virginity to her.
I couldn’t let the stupid thing go, mostly because I hate ignorance. I changed the term to pro-choice and simply stated that I’m pro-choice because I don’t believe I have the right to tell anyone else what to do with their body, or anything therein. I also clarified my definition of human life as ‘viable outside the womb, not at conception.’ The argument was sound and logical. The opinion was backed up by fact (evolution and natural selection).
My Mother’s response was swift and concise. “You are wrong. The child didn’t have a choice.” It’s not a child. It’s a fucking zygote, a collection of cells. I simply told her that it was fine. I could be wrong. It’s just how I saw things and I thought that was the end of it. I was annoyed by that point because my mother is normally more articulate than that, but she is given over to blind faith and she has the worst vice of all of them, no vices at all. She clearly conveyed to me that once again, her religion takes precedence over everything. She stayed online and stayed online and stayed online. I wasn’t about to engage her.
I was doing stuff for my headache support board. Suddenly, ‘ding,’ a message from my mother asking if everything was ok. I had my normal headache, so I told her that it was great, 71 degrees, the windows were open and the cats were surveying their kingdom. It could’nt be better. (Dilaudid would’ve made it a little better.) Chit chat, allergies, wind, rain, too much mold, etc. Oh-Brooke played a great April Fool’s joke on your brother…A little more chit chat and all of a sudden, “Well, I have to go. Damien just called and we have to take him for a job interview.” As usual, dismissed as the least important thing. Everything else comes before me. I just end up in a bad mood.
It really has to stop. I’ve done it before. I have to completely limit contact. I know that’s withdrawal, but confrontation with her isn’t possible either. She shuts down and changes the subject at the very hint of a serious discussion about something. I guess I’ll just have to be <afk> more often.
As a very curious side note, my mother-in-law called me while I was in Target today. I was still feeling pretty angry at my mom. We had the most wonderful conversation about everything and nothing just like we always do when she calls. It’s very sad that a call from my mother in law makes me happy and call, posts or IM from my own mother depresses the fuck out of me.
cazandoconejos 