I’m not sure exactly how or when this happened, but at some point in my life I became the lowest priority on my mother’s list. I never caused problems as a kid, so I guess she didn’t have a reason to really keep track of me. My brother took up most of that time. She was also all over the church and you have to do what god says and all that crap that I eventually threw away for the garbage that it is. If god has something it wants me to know, it can tell me itself. I don’t need a translator. I would assume that it speaks English. or at least on of the other languages I speak.
Back to the topic at hand. About 6 years ago while in rehab, I had a major reaction to Haldol. I even escaped the hospital and went back home. I was paranoid that they all wanted to hurt me/kill me. I don’t know why, I was having a psychotic break. Once I was returned to the hospital, it ended up being a 21 day stay and I don’t remember the last 12 days at all. They’re a complete blank. It took me a very long time to recover from that. My mom called once. Brian even asked her to come to Chicago and watch me bc I couldn’t be left alone in the state I was in. I was still highly paranoid. They (mom/dad) couldn’t be bothered. Something was going on at church or with David (my brother) and the kids. My nephew babysat me.
We’re in the same situation now. I’m back in the hospital with a huge, enormous, massive cluster and I when I get out, I’ll recover at home before going back to Phoenix. Brian wants me at home for a few days before I go back, just to make sure I’m ok. I asked my mom to come stay with me bc it would be the closest to Ohio that I will be in a very, very long time. (I’m banished from the Midwest by Dr. Urban unless I’m coming to see him or go inpatient. Beyond that, I’m not to step foot in the Midwest.) She seemed like she wanted to bc we haven’t seen each other since last March.
Today, I got the message. I don’t think we’ll be able to come. I have a medical procedure the day before and I don’t know how I’ll feel. (It’s a colonoscopy. You’ll be fine a couple hours after you sleep off the meds.) #2 excuse that I don’t remember and there’s a meeting on Friday that she really should attend. (She’s 72 and retired. What kind of meeting could be that important?) Then she excused herself with they typical having to take a shower and go into town to run some errands bs. I didn’t even respond.
I really don’t know what to do about it. I know that contact at this point will be minimal. She has nothing to give and I can’t keep asking. I have a couple of relatives there that have one foot in the grave and they’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I won’t be able to attend the funerals which will cause all sorts of brouhaha. I’m wondering if my mother will defend me or make excuses for me.
It may be time to dump Ohio completely as heartless as that may sound. My relatives are my family here in Chicago and my Mother and Father in law down in FL.
Addendum: It is time to chuck Ohio. My mom called tonight. She made no attempt to ask about how I felt or how is was doing. She uses Brooke as often as she can as her distraction. Damien and my brother are her other distractions. Her ultimate distraction is my father.and his temple. Whatever he wants goes. She is petrified of doing anything out of the ordinary with out dad. He’s abusive, controlling and overbearing, but he’s beaten it into her that she is not able to do anything without him. I feel sorry for her in that way, but she’s had many, opportunities to get rid of him and come to me. I told her that this is the closest I would come to Ohio this year. That wasn’t good enough. They’re holding out the expectation that I will somehow magically appear at the last minute with a magic cake in in tow. They are going to be very, very disappointed. Funerals will also be a problem.
I have one uncle and one aunt on his/her deathbed. Since I’m banished from the Midwest, I will not be able to go to their funerals. I asked my mother if she has told the rest of the family about my condition. She flatly typed, NO. I guess it’s my place to tell everyone why I won’t be at the funerals. Another time where I have been relegated to the scrap heap. I asked her if she would tell them for me and got another NO. Such is life in a small town.
cazandoconejos 