I’ve discovered that this is really the problem. Other than the paradox of juxtaposing my face and emotions onto the baby in Nydia’s arms while I sit there and watch, the temporal shift, or one of its other various names, tells me or dictates that multiple versions of me cannot exist within the same time and place. I can’t be the baby and I can’t sit there and watch me as the baby and I certainly can’t observe the entire scene in my whole psyche. I still can’t. It’s hard enough trying to imagine watching it on a TV or movie screen with the idea that the baby is me and the person sitting beside the baby is also me, while I watch the whole damned thing on TV. Yes, I know it sounds stupid. For many of you this whole time-space continuum, temporal shift and paradox thing don’t even exist. For someone who devours Sci/Fi Fantasy, though, it’s very real and very hard to get around. This may actually be a sticking point that I will not be able to see.
I can imagine myself as the baby. I can imagine interacting with Nydia, Luís and the older sisters, Luisito and Mitzi wouldn’t have been born yet. I can imagine being allowed to explore, crawl and do whatever I wanted. I would never have been alone or needed anything with two adoring parents and three older sisters, not to mention Mama Flor. However, at this point, that’s as far as my psyche will allow me to go without terror kitty coming out to defend me. This part, I may not be able to do, even if I can talk terror kitty down. Dr. Dragonfly may have to try a different approach here.
cazandoconejos 